Curse

Jormund · Apr 01, 2007, 07:18 PM // 19:18

I'm sure most of you have been suspecting this for a while, but my fact filled post will finally confirm your fears. That's right, Gaile Gray is George W. Bush. In the year 1344 (or 2000 for those of you who beleive the calendars), ANet initiated project "Beast"; using the same technology present in the main cities in game, Gaile Gray was transformed into George W. Bush. She only maintains this form when she likes to, the methods used for this are far more sophisticated then what we are experiencing now, as they can turn it on and off whenever they please.

Why did ANet want Gaile Gray to be president? Simple really, because ANet knows that those who dance with apples are likely to buy Guild Wars. Dancing with apples is a popular practice worldwide, you may not think you are doing it, but beleive me, you are. Other candidates would have warned you not to dance with apples, but they were silenced via The Underground Asura Mafia. Through winning the election, they have ensured that apple dancing will not stop, and that sales will never dwindle.

My post will likely be deleted, or possibly altered to encourage dancing with apples (Guru works with the government closely, JR is in fact George Bush senior). If you value your thoughts, I would recommend a Tin Foil Hat, possibly tin foil gloves, boots, and coat so that the mind control rays emitting from your monitor (while playing Guild Wars) can't find a way to seep in. Secondly, do NOT DANCE WITH APPLES!!! It is tempting I know, but you must resist this act, for you surrender much of your free will once you begin to do so, and you'll find yourself scooping up ANet products and Inde plush dolls off store shelves before you can regather your true conciousness.

-- Jormund Transmission End --

sph0nz · Apr 01, 2007, 07:51 PM // 19:51

lol.

123456.

lacasner · Apr 01, 2007, 07:53 PM // 19:53

Mmmhmm I get the metaphor.

olly123 · Apr 01, 2007, 08:13 PM // 20:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jormund

(Guru works with the government closely, JR is in fact George Bush senior).

loved that line, rock on G W B senior, err i mean JR :P, whats it like to b gailes daddy???

tomcruisejr · Apr 01, 2007, 08:30 PM // 20:30

In the meantime, we would like to interrupt this program with a word from our sponsors.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=cROsrQ5ZEmA

The Last Cruzader · Apr 01, 2007, 08:37 PM // 20:37

o rly now? kewl

lightblade · Apr 01, 2007, 08:57 PM // 20:57

Oh wow! This really is a Conspiracy Theory/Essay..

Mercury Angel · Apr 01, 2007, 09:12 PM // 21:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Top Secret Government Documents

In order to understand world conquest you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Arena Net made up of smart people with help from PvP'ers.

The conspiracy first started during Jormund's wedding on Guild Wars Guru. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including World War II.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by their loud belches.

They want to murder The Zealots of Savio and imprison resisters at Guild Wars Online using Stealth Death Vans.

In order to prepare for this, we all must destroy them all. Since the media is controlled by Inde we should get our information from Lasareth.

Indes, and Savios, and Lasareths, oh my!

Across The Battle · Apr 01, 2007, 09:14 PM // 21:14

I am so confused.
APPLES!

Fallen Hunter · Apr 01, 2007, 10:13 PM // 22:13

I knew it. I knew it all along

Jormund · Apr 01, 2007, 10:22 PM // 22:22

Ah I see I have been moved away from the Conspiracy Theories and Essays forum. If this is not prove that what I say is true and that I know to much, then I don't know what is. Don't let Beast win, don't let the Apples win!

Yuca Dolitae · Apr 02, 2007, 12:21 AM // 00:21

I had an apple today...what does it mean?
Will I dance with the next one?
......
It made me happy...am I wrong to be like that after an apple?

Argh - the confusion!!

Wilhelm · Apr 02, 2007, 01:23 AM // 01:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jormund

, JR is in fact George Bush senior).

I thought JR was Gaile Gray

Lasareth · Apr 02, 2007, 01:52 AM // 01:52

*Deletes topic to keep the conspiracy going*

Unlucky Slayer · Apr 02, 2007, 02:13 AM // 02:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lasareth

*Deletes topic to keep the conspiracy going*

You have no idea how much I want to do that.

Divinitys Creature · Apr 02, 2007, 09:55 PM // 21:55

Nice try Jormund, ***BUT YOU ARE NOT PARANOID ENOUGH***

Gaile Gray is, in fact*, the one and only SATAN. Yes, she has horns, she has red skin, she breathes fire and she smells like she's been surrounded by millions of burning corpses down there in hell for millennia. She also does a little CR on the side, to give nubs in the PR industry a clue how to be more evil.

*IMHO

I pwnd U · Apr 02, 2007, 11:17 PM // 23:17

o_0 lol wow that is funny stuff!

Knido · Apr 02, 2007, 11:44 PM // 23:44

funny? you think this is funny?!?!

there is nothing funny about this!

We must revolt and stop the Apple Dancers! We must rise up and suppress the suppressors! We must defeat the defeaters and conquer the conquerers! WE MUST FIGHT BACK!!!!

whats that sound....

what th-

matt_longbow · Apr 03, 2007, 06:02 PM // 18:02

this is great...

Divine Freak · Apr 03, 2007, 10:00 PM // 22:00

And I thought I had issues....